Playing that song I found the night you went, this time of year really sucks. Everyone expects you to be jolly but truly I would quite like to hide away a bit and just look at pictures of us and have a good cry, maybe some mochi too. Hopefully New Year will come quickly and I won't have to pretend everything is fine. I feel cross still and I know that's not helpful and I know you wouldn't want that, I try to remind myself of that and do something productive or just play with Ben and Henry. You'd have liked Ben, he's all big and jolly and smiles. Hopefully you watch over him and Henry, he still talks of you. Miss you love, bless your beautiful heart.
